Ohhh if only I could give diagnostics every day! This is the most I’ve laughed since school started. Mind you, it is horrible to enjoy the failings of my students…so perhaps an explination will exhonorate me.

One page asked students to rank nouns from smallest to largest in terms of what they describe. The correct answer would have been: House, Neighborhood, State, Country, Continent, World. Well, many kids decided a continent was definitely smaller than a state.

With that fact in mind, lets move to naming our 50 states. This page gave evidence of the rampant cheating my substitute allowed. Mexico was a state for at least 5 students, Detroit for at least 15 students, and New Orleans for at least 30. I’m really tempted to lecture about “If you’re going to cheat, cheat from someone smart!”

So most of my classes don’t know about geography, but maybe there’s hope for history? BZZZZT, wrong. The Cold War was not actually cold, and the Revolutionary War did not take place in Vietnam.

Fabulous.